Frak You PC haters!

So. How many times have you heard someone speak of being "politically correct" with disdain? Like it's the Man keepin' us down?

I have this ...acquaintance. He's a good guy generally. He expresses ideas and sentiments that sound as though he's respectful of women and has no problems with alternative sexualities, but then he'll turn around and say flippant things like "don't be a pussy" and "that's so gay." Once I asked him if he could choose another phrase and he rolled his eyes and got irritated like I was asking for some great imposition for the sake of being "politically correct" or "socially acceptable," but it was quite clear that he thought his words were just words - unimportant, inconsequential, no big deal.

Well here's a news flash for all you fools who agree with him. Words are powerful. Words have meaning. Words do more damage than any other force. It's not a matter of being "politically correct" or saying what's "socially acceptable." It's a matter of respect. I don't care if you think it is important to question the expectations society puts upon a person. I applaud that really. I don't care if you think saying politically incorrect things makes you cool or a rebel. It's irrelevant. We're not talking about society or "the Man" or what's "acceptable." We're talking about one person to another, being respectful, kind, and considerate. And if you think you do not owe kindness or consideration to a perfect stranger, then it is simply about having respect for another living being who is plodding through life just as you are.

I am not easily offended. I have solid confidence and no flippant remark about my gender, sexuality, hair color, home town, appearance, weight, or any other thing is going to take me down. I will not cry myself to sleep because you treated me as a lesser person because I have breasts. You will not see my face fall because you made a judgmental remark regarding my politics or sexuality likening me to the Third Reich or intimating that my soul will burn in damnation for all eternity. I will not feel shame because you think I'm fat. You will not make me feel less valuable because you mock my roots or judge my choices. I will not.

But some will.

Some will think themselves beautiful until they go to work every day with a couple of people who think it's okay to mock a woman's appearance because she is not a petite hourglass. Some will feel they have to hide because they are poor. Some will feel shamed because others make them feel like they are less of a person just because of who they love. And some WILL cry themselves to sleep at night. But just one flippant "don't be a pussy" or "that's so gay"? For some it might sting. For some it might hurt. For most, it is simply a discomfort. For all, it is a moment that passes.

But each new flippant, "no big deal" comment is another moment - another sting, another hurt, a greater discomfort. And when it's every day, it shuts a person down. It blocks them. You cannot move forward when you are ever expecting someone to come at you from a blind spot. And that's the best case scenario. The worst case is that the person who has to listen to you say those "inconsequential" little phrases of disrespect starts to believe them. That being a coward is the same thing as being a woman. That being a woman is being a coward. That being gay means you're stupid or bad or undesirable.

I will not be shamed or cry or doubt myself. But even I will be shut down. When you say something like that, you let me know that it's not okay for me to be simply be me. When you are so flippant with my gender or my sexuality, you show me that you are not sensitive to those around you, that you do not care if you hurt those around you, and that you do not respect me. You will never allow me to feel like it's okay to be myself. For that, you lose out. For that, you will never truely know so many people because you've put them in a box. You have restricted what they can say, how they can act, what thoughts and feelings they can share in your presence. You have built a wall around them and with each stupid, seemingly inconsequential phrase you disrespect them more and pull those walls in tighter until you suffocate them right out of your life.

Now if you really don't care if you hurt those around you - if you really intend to let someone know you DO think they are less of a person because of some ingrained aspect of their self, then carry on. You have every right to hold your own beliefs and you have every right to speak them. But for the majority of you who just think it is "no big deal" to speak with such disrespect, choose your words.